Creating the Estonian Tantra Festival is a year-long process for us, the main organisers. We have been cooking this “tantric soup” for five years. This year is no exception. Some of the ingredients have already been added to the pot, and the delicate flavours will begin to emerge as the anniversary year approaches.

These five years have been extraordinarily distinctive. I remember the first year – accompanied by excitement and anticipation of novelty: how, with whom, in what way? A sense of uncertainty as a companion and confidence as a support. Just being in the moment as an observer and watching it all unfold because there was no real experience. In order to carry the festival and to keep myself at the centre, I descended into trust. It was a very supportive, euphoric and slightly expectant feeling.

I vividly remember the moment I was ready to go on stage, wrapped in a white cloth, alone in a dark room. In that moment I experienced total PEACE – in body, mind, and soul.

I reflected back on it later and realised that it was total trust on every level. I let go of performance and expectations, especially of myself, and descended into deep trust. A moment later, 4 men came and lifted me onto their shoulders and carried me on stage to the accompaniment of Madonna singing. I remember that moment so clearly – that experience has shaped me.

It’s been fascinating to see how I have developed through the organisation of the festival. I can safely say that I’ve honed my experience of the human condition quite well. It has also given me the ability to feel the bigger picture – how these little pieces weave the festival into a whole. When you look at the organisation of the festival from behind the scenes, it’s not something you can take for granted. Everything changes all the time. Rather, it’s like a chaotic jigsaw, the pieces of which magically fall into place just before the festival starts, when the first participants arrive. Over the years, I have watched this with a slight sense of humour. A bit excited and curious. I’ve always had the feeling that everything just creates itself, exactly as it needs to. It’s a pleasure to dive into it.

My last, extremely eye-opening experience was at the 2024 festival. Saturday evening, the sweetest and most anticipated part of the festival, had already begun when I entered the hall. I walked slowly and looked at all the wonderful people who had come to experience the Temple of Love. I stood and at one point J was next to me. We just stood and watched this creation. He gently took my hand and said: “Bella, look what You have created!” His words awakened me to the moment. I realised that what was happening was indeed something magical, expansive and so creative. At this point, I put my hands together in prayer and gave thanks to Life – for guidance and those experiences.

These five years have made a nice thick soup, with different flavours. The Estonian Tantra Festival is not just a festival – it is an experience. We want to offer the best quality in terms of performers, programme, food, atmosphere, experiences and self-development.

I invite you to come and experience an international festival full of experiences. This is a place where we are all creators, experiencers, healers and magicians.

I look forward to meeting you at the Estonian Tantra Festival on 17-20 July at Laitse Graniitvilla.